found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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