I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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