Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
