you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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