so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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