exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
