I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
