Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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