dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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