Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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