I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
