just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
