one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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