Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
high people should be assigned attendants
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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