What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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