i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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