Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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