i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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