I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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