Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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