WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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