This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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