Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
