handjob tips. give me some.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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