I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize