I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
