she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
