just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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