Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
