Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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