She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
