I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
