If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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