my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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