Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
