is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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