I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
