State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
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I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
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he had hair everywhere except his balls
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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