I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
