Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize