After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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