I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
