New invention idea: vibrating tampons
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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