i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
