just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
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Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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