Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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