sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
