No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize