dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
