My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
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I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
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