The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
