Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
