one might say we're banned from that church
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
