We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
