the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
