she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
