You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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