i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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