AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
