you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
